Newsletter 0044


 Awareness begins when we become aware that we are unaware….one sign that we’ve woken up is when we ask ourself , am I crazy, or are all of them crazy?…

We're all crazy, living on crazy ideas about Love, relationships, happiness, about everything….

We’re asleep, brainwashed … we don’t like being woken up….

The most difficult thing is to listen, to see… most of all we need the readiness to learn something new.

Get disillusioned with our best friends … we don’t want new things, particularly when they involve change.

There’s nothing so important in the world as Awakening, nothing so delightful as being aware.

Socrates…" the unaware life is not worth living" … most of us don’t live aware lives , we live mechanical lives, mechanical thoughts, generally some one else’s, mechanical emotions, actions, reactions…. we’re zombies, robots, puppets jerked around by all sorts of things.

The greatest evil is we sleeping, ignorant people … sleeping people running governments, big business, educating children … every child has God within, societys attempts to mold our children from God into a devil .

Wars come from us projecting out of ourselves the conflict inside … Freedom makes all people good because it destroys the inner conflict.

We don’t need conscience when we have Consciousness and sensitivity … we’re not violent or fearfil… the root of evil is within us, as we begin to understand we stop making demands on ourself, and having expectations of our self we stop pushing ourself … nourishing self on nature, good books, good movies, good company and enjoyable work… have Soul feelings instead of living empty, soulless lives feeding on popularity, appreciation, praise.

We only change what we understand.

Step 1. Realise that we don’t want to wake up, that we don’t want to be happy.

Step 2. Readiness to understand, to listen, to challenge our whole belief system.

Insight, not effort , not habits, not Ideals … ideals do a lot of damage as we focus on what should Be instead of focusing on what is.

Understanding, insight, awareness, instead of pushing ourselves , society trains us to be dissatisfied , when we’re discontented we put out more and more effort .. but there’s little understanding.

Effortlessness occurs when change comes about through Awareness and Understanding.

If our mind is unobstructed , the result is wisdom, wisdom is not acquired, nor is it from experience or applying yesterdays illusions to todays problems.

As children we are made addicts through the drugs of approval, appreciation, attention … if we are awakened we no longer march to the drums of society, but dance to the tune of the music within us… hell is other people, to be with them is to live in tension.

Enjoy life and the simple pleasures of our senses…be like the animals, not lost in our minds go, go, go…. Slow down, taste, smell, hear … sit quietly listen and observe.

When we’re ready to lose life we live it.

We don’t act if we just know , we act when we taste and feel the truth.The Illusion of rewards. Mystics tell us that eternity is right now… eternal means timeless, no time.

Silence is the voice of God .

Detachment The only way to change is to change our understanding… we don’t need anybodys love, we just need to get in touch with reality, break out of this programming prison, this conditioning of false beliefs, these fantasises … attachment destroys our capacity to Love.

 Finding self. Mystics say begin with an awareness of things, then move on to an awareness of thoughts, and finally we get to awareness of the thinker… the "I".

" little girl to little boy "are you a catholic? … no he says I’m another abomination."

Are we our body ?… no every one of our cells is renewed within seven years.

Are we our thoughts?…no they come and go

Nor are we our name, career, beliefs

All suffering is caused by identifying with something, whether that something is within us or outside of us.

A little fish in the ocean "excuse me I’m looking for the ocean".

Understand who "I" is and never be the same again … nothing will ever be able to touch us, and no one will ever be able to hurt us again … fear nothing and no one … we fear no one because we’re content to be nobody ... we don’t give a hoot about success, failure, honour, disgrace,or wanting to impress.

We become more energetic, more alive, we react less and act more, we lose our tension, we’re more relaxed, no more driving with our brakes on... now able to do the three most difficult things … first, return Love for hate … second, include the excluded … third, admit we are wrong.

When we become Love we can Love and be Loved.

Don’t imitate Christ , be Christ ... Compassion is being Love.

God is the dancer, and creation is Gods dance.

Negative feelings toward others anytime this happens we are living in an illusion, there is something wrong with us, we’re not seeing reality, we are the one who has to change… we are responsible for the negative feeling, not the other person because we are making a demand, having an expectation

We will never feel grief when we lose something that we have allowed to be free, that we have never attempted to possess

We see people and things not as they are, but as we are … when we are different , they’ll be different.

We will never wake up until we stop sleepwalking, until we stop blaming everyone else, life, society, our neighbour, the government, them, they.

Dependence to depend on another psychologically, emotionally implies that we depend on others for our happiness.

Unconditional Love is Perfect, it casts out fear … there are no demands , no dependency, no expectations…we do not demand that others make us happy, we enjoy their company immensely but we do not cling.

Christ said that we should renounce everyone and everything … we contact reality by dropping all our illusions … when we feel our emptiness inside it wont go away with TV, football or human company.

Leave everyone free and be free ourself, be special to no one and Love everyone… the Rose gives its fragrance to all … what society calls Love in poems and songs is the opposite of Love … its desire, control, possessiveness, manipulation, fear and anxiety is not Love.

Criticism, flattery will not affect us

We should allow people to be themselves, but we will protect ourself, we will be ourself, we won’t allow manipulation…we’ll live our life, go our own way , keeping ourself free to think our thoughts and follow our own inclinations and tastes …

We'll say no if we feel we don’t want to be in others company, and it wont be because of any negative feelings others cause in us, but because they don’t any more, they don’t have any more power over us.

This is not selfish … selfish is to demand that others are not selfish, that you live your life as they see fit.

We have to suffer enough in a relationship so that we get disillusioned with all relationships.

"there must be a better way of living than depending on another."

To Love is to see a person, a situation, a thing as it really is, not as we imagine them/it to be… most of us don’t take the trouble to see each person, each thing in its present moment, we find it easier to label.

Our natural urge is to be Free, to Love, we don’t need external Love ,we have internal Love, all we have to do is unveil self Love.

In any relationship we need clarity of perception and accuracy of response … we fall in love because we have a conditioned subconscious image that a particular type of person appeals to us … but have we seen them, no the awakening usually comes after marriage.

The beauty of an action comes not from its having become a habit, but from its sensitivity, consciousness, clarity of perception, and accuracy of response.

We can only Love people when we have emptied our life of people, when we die to the need for people… in aloneness, solitude the desert begins to bloom.

Whether there’s something wrong with us or not we’’ll examine that independently of others anger, we wont be influenced by their anger… if we did wrong it was in unawareness.

No one can make a slave of us if freedom resides in our hearts, as the bible says "if someone makes us go one mile, go two".

If we wish to Love we need to learn to see again.. to depend on no one emotionally… refuse to be special to anyone or call anyone your own…. to see at last with a vision that is clear and unclouded by fear or desire… die to the need for people.

Aloneness means that people no longer have the power to make us happy or miserable … in this solitude dependence dies, and we can enjoy others company because there is no clinging or emotional dependence.

Loneliness is when we miss people, aloneness is when we’re enjoying ourself.

Do things that we can do with our whole being…commune with nature, trees, flowers, birds, animals, sea, clouds, sky

We are suffering from a lack of Love and Awareness … Love is generated through Awareness

We are not interested in having more fears and more guilt’s laid on us… more sermons and exhortations, but we are interested in Love … how can we be happy , how can we live … how can we taste these marvelous things that the mystics speak of ?

Hidden agendas there’s a difference between knowledge and Awareness "forgive them for they are not aware of what they are doing … we all sin under the guise of good .

We will never understand ourself if we seek to change ourself…awareness releases reality to change us .

Filtered reality ... when we were young we were drugged to need people for acceptance , approval, appreciation, applause, for what they called success… we were programmed to unhappiness… to gain the world but lose our Soul … to get out we have to get deprogrammed by becoming aware of the programming.

Enlightenment … wake up…when we are ready to exchange our illusions for reality, when we are ready to exchange our dreams for facts, that’s when life finally becomes meaningful, becomes beautiful.

Focus on the now instead of hoping for better times in the future...

Before Enlightenment we are depressed, after Enlightenment we continue to be depressed, but we don’t identify with it any more.

Its not by our actions that we will be saved , its by our being … its not what we do but what we are that’s important

Wakefulness, happiness is a state of non delusion, where we see things not as we are, but as they are.

Ideas fragment our, intuition, vision, reality … words cannot give us reality, they can only point … we should drop our concepts, opinions, prejudices, judgements … we cannot consider how God is but only how he is not … to know that we do not know, until we connect inside.

Eternal life is now, in the timeless now.

We want to be Aware, to be in touch with whatever is and let whatever happen, if I’m awake or asleep its fine.

Resistance the more we resist something the more we give it power we cope with evil not by fighting it but by understanding it, in understanding it disappears … how do we cope with darkness, not with violence but by turning on the light.

Desire don’t suppress it , understand it , and turn it into a preference... "be desireless" Buddah

Self Observation… means watching, as far as possible, everything in us, and around us and watch it as if it were happening to someone else ... don’t personalise what is happening ... use the third person eg I am observing me, Ashley .

Be like the sky observing the clouds coming and going, white, black , large, small, we are passive , detached observers…. don’t fix anything , watch, observe just understand.

The only way someone can help us is in challenging our ideas.

We do not change if we only change our exterior world.

Awareness without evaluating everything ... want to change the world? ... transform self first through observation, understanding without interference or judgement ... no commentary, no attitude, just observe , study, watch, without the desire to change what is.

Meaning is only found when we go beyond meaning … life only makes sense when we perceive it as mystery.

Faith is an openness to the truth, no matter what the consequences, no matter where it leads us ... Faith is insecurity because we don’t know.

Renunciation ... when we renounce something we’re stuck to it forever … don’t renounce it , see through it by Understanding it … when we wake up we simply drop the desire for it.

Listen and Unlearn ... have an attitude of openness, of willingness to discover something new … with the path of spirituality we have to unlearn almost everything we have been taught.


Type 1.… self centredness…where we give ourself the pleasure of pleasing ourself.

Type 2.…refined selfishness…when we give ourself the pleasure of pleasing others

Type 3… worst type… when we do something good so that we won’t get a bad feeling

A good is never so good as when we have no awareness that we’re doing good… a Saint is one until he/she knows it.

Illusions about others ... never be disillusioned, or disappointed again … drop our false ideas , see through ourself, see through people and Love self and all.

Happiness The only reason we’re not experiencing bliss because we’re focusing on what we don’t have… society determines what it means to be a success, the main preoccupation of society is to keep society sick.

Every one of us is sick, we’re all crazy… we want to become president of the lunatic asylum and we’re proud of it, even though it means nothing … being the head of a corporation or having a lot of money has nothing to do with success … we’re a success when we wake up, then we don’t have to explain anything to anyone, we don’t give a hoot what anyone thinks or says about us … we have no worries, we’re happy.

Having a good job or being famous or having a good reputation has absolutely nothing to do with happiness or success …all we’re really worried about is what people will think, our spouse, children, friends, neighbours …

We’re all frightened and confused puppets strutting and jerking around the stage … we’re controlled, manipulated, unhappy, miserable, we don’t enjoy life, constantly tense , anxious and why because we identify "I’ " with some label, money, job ... "I" is neither great or small … "me" is generally selfish, foolish, childish, a great big ass.

Happiness is our natural state … if we ask an awakened person why are you happy , they say why not? … happiness cannot be acquired because we already have it , all we have to do is drop our illusions, our ambitions, our greed, our cravings.

Constant happiness is constant change… happiness is not the same as excitement ... Happiness is a state of non illusion .

Fear ... the root of violence … ignorance caused by fear is where all evil and violence comes from ... there are only two things in the world God and fear … God is Love, thus Love and fear are the only two things … there’s only one evil, fear … only one good, Love

Fear is the loss of the known.

Mystics "don’t seek the Truth, they just drop their opinions"

Suffering … if we’re suffering we are asleep… suffering is a sign that we’re out of touch with the Truth, suffering is given to us that we may open our eyes to the Truth, that we might understand that there is falsehood somewhere, just as physical pain is given to us so we will understand that there is illness somewhere.

Suffering points to an area in which we have not yet grown, where we need to grow and be transformed and change

When our illusions clash with reality, when our falsehoods clash with truth then we have suffering.

Four steps to self empowerment …

Realise reality is not the problem, we are the problem.

Get in touch with negative feelings we’re not aware of , why are we feeling nervous, tense etc

Understand those negative feeling are in us, not in reality … problems exist only in our minds

Never identify with these negative feelings

Change ourself, not others or external circumstances

Since our origin, we have focused our attention externally in a need to feel safe, loved and valuable ... we need to look inside ourselves to find the roots of our insecurities and pull them out .

It is not skill, talent or things that produce destructive consequences, its our intention to use them to manipulate, and control others in order to make ourself feel valuable and loved.

We need to look at the external world of things, interactions and experiences, as a mirror that reflects our internal world of intentions, emotions and thoughts.

Self empowerment is the alignment of our personality with our Soul ... Self Empowerment confronts us with the most unhealthy parts of self, the parts that blame, criticise, judge, resent, envy, and hate others, self and the Universe.

Self Empowerment  is our human experience without the limitations of fear, self doubt and self hatred. Creating authentic power is a pro active, lifetime endeavour that requires our intention and effort ... we cannot align our personality without becoming conscious with our emotions.

We become a Light that illuminates the darkness rather than a voice that condemns it … we become a gift to ourselves and others , we step into our role here as a Soul/Spirit , awake and aware , joyful and grateful, powerful and creative, compassionate and caring.

Emotions are currents of energy that continually run through us, from the crown chakra through the other chakras and return ... as energy is processed at the chakras in different ways different emotions result .

We cannot expand spiritually without learning how to detach from our emotions and understand them as products of the way energy is processed by us... our emotions come from our energy system not our interactions with things or people ... each emotion is a message from our Soul to stop and look inward.

The more intense, the more pain is felt in our body and the more compulsive our thoughts ... the more familiar we become with our emotions we will see how they remain the same, even though the circumstances in which they appear change.

Painful emotions, anger, fear, jealousy, revenge are experiences of the parts of our Soul that our soul desires to heal... emotional pain is physical pain … and emanate from fear.

When we do not recognise our deeper, painful emotions for what they are they shape our perceptions, judgements and actions.

Emotional awareness is continuously studying the changing array of emotions within us … if we are frequently emotional we don’t know the meaning of our feelings.

Depression can be utilised as an instrument of spiritual growth, otherwise its like drifting on an ocean of pain without learning how to sail.

Earth School ... even if we are not aware of our emotions , they are always being produced inside us ... we all take the same course … Self Empowerment … different students need to take different classes in order to complete it.

There are two types of classes  ... about Fear and about Love ... instead of trying to change circumstances or people, its important that we examine the emotions we are experiencing, by looking inward instead of focusing on outward circumstances.

Assume that we are the cause of the emotions that torment us , not others ... our task is to change self not others as we can only make permanent changes in ourself.

Do not focus on the experience of anger, jealousy, sadness, fear … instead focus on what makes us angry, jealous, sad and fearful.

We are here to be create Self Empowerment based on the perceptions, values, purpose of our Soul, being Harmony, Cooperation, sharing, giving, reverence for life … we shouldn’t use our energy to rearrange external circumstances that trigger painful emotions as that will not change our rigid patterns of emotional response which have a life independent of external circumstances.

We will continue to encounter circumstances that trigger painful emotions until we look beyond them to the interior dynamics that create our emotional pain.

Energy There are two ways energy can leave our energy system which transforms every experience … in Fear and Doubt ... creating ways to exploit others, or ... in Love and Trust, which produces health and vitality... no matter where or how it produces an emotion… any painful emotion means we are acting, speaking, thinking in Fear and Doubt.

Every emotion is a physical experience … emotional awareness is noticing what sensations we are feeling in, and where in our body… it is preventive medicine The deeper cause of every physical dysfunction is energy leaving our energy system in fear and doubt ... Medical treatment is an emergency reaction to a symptom that has developed over a long time.

Our energy system (Chakras) continually produce physical sensations, in the form of emotions, in the vicinity of each of its centres ... the departure of energy from our chakras is a real event producing physical experiences.

Before we can change the way we process energy, we must become aware of how we are processing it... each decision is a moment of creativity.

We are an immortal Soul temporarily utilising a body… our emotions are the instruments that tell us how our energy system is functioning … scanning each chakra gives us emotional feed back this emotional awareness which allows us to make life changing alterations without the experience of physical disease to force the issue

If we think that we feel nothing, we are bound by fears that we think we do not have … if we pay attention we will notice that we have grown used to painful sensations … once were are aware that our body is hurting we can do something about it.

Present Moment ... when we are not aware in the present moment we have no power … when we are aware of the present moment we have access to all possibilities the present moment has to offer.

It is not possible to become aware of the present moment by examining , studying or thinking about external circumstances... our inner landscape is richer than the outer … remaining with our inner experience is the choice to pursue authentic power.

When we are continually aware of everything that we feel, we are in continual communication with our Soul

When an activity is used to divert attention from painful emotions, it is compulsive.

Passion is the unfolding of Joy ... Compulsion is the unfolding of fear uncover the origin of a compulsion we must stop doing it and, experience what we feel

If we are not aware of what we are thinking or feeling in our body we are not aware of the present moment … when we are not aware of our emotions our attention is focused on the circumstances around us.

Detachment When we are fixated on the events of our life, our attention is absorbed … detachment allows us to remain aware of what we feel while the events of our life unfold.

When we are not detached from our emotions we cannot separate ourself from them, and they possess us.

Workaholism is a flight from emotions … an exploitation of people and circumstances to avoid pain … its putting strangers in charge of our life while we focus on insignificant things … the strangers are the emotions we bury under our superficial activities ... Workaholism and Anger go together as they are both flights from our feelings.

Intimacy ... it doesn’t matter how others act, or speak, it depends on how energy leaves our body… when it leaves in Love, and trust we experience intimacy … the pursuit of external power through manipulation and control is incompatible with intimacy… harmony, cooperation, sharing, giving and reverence for life brings intimacy... Intimacy is trusting that the universe will provide what we need, when we need it and in the most appropriate manner.

Anger Is the path of least resistance…beneath every anger experience there is huge amount of emotional experience … anger is the tip of the ice berg … the rest awaits our uncovering … outbursts are painful experiences but are not emotional explorations … all hostility originates from fear … fear = a life of dissatisfaction,

Love = fearless = a life of fulfilment ... our Anger prevents Love and isolates us … we push away what is most longed for , companionship and understanding.

Our Anger is the agony of believing that we are not capable, or worthy of being understood …when we are angry we may not appear frightened , actually we are terrified… beneath anger lies pain and beneath that pain lies fear. … continual anger = continual pain.

Our Anger is resistance to the world not being the way we want it … then we feel the fear of realising that we cannot control all that we feel is essential for our safety and well being ... rage is an excruciating experience of powerlessness.

We continually encounter what our soul wants us to encounter, when we resist our encounters we resist the purpose of our life and that resistance is our pain.

The core cause of anger is lack of self worth … when our pain is acute we cover it with anger striking out at friends and perceived adversaries ... we mistake kindness for weakness, we cannot imagine that others care for us because we don’t care for ourself. ... we imprison ourself in a cell of our own creation, blaming everyone else for being there.

Anger = Pain = Fear = Low Self Esteem = Anger = Pain = Fear = a terror of being alive, of not belonging, of being alone and unable to survive, its not a reaction to particular circumstances, its feeling unprepared and powerless.

Perfectionism is the continual judgement of ourself and others as deficient … our assumption that the world is not perfect … that we need to control and manipulate so that the circumstances we prefer are perfect for others… our preference create a painful fortress  ... whereas honouring others preferences creates harmony and cooperation.

All choices create perfect consequences …we create continually and perfectly, consciously or unconsciously …the never ending experiences provide us with opportunities to see the relationship between what we choose and what we experience … it is our compassion and wisdom that bring greater awareness and freedom.

Pleasing Our desire to please others is a potent way to distract ourself from our feelings … it is an attempt to change others so we will feel better….it is our covert way of pursuing external power, whereas anger is our overt way … either way we have authority issues.

Our intention to be what we think others want us to be disrupts harmony , even though it may temporarily reduce tension…we are always tense, as we place our self worth into the hands of others, depending completely on their judgement, while doing our best to influence them.

Pleasing others prevents us from experiencing our emotions because we are attempting to feel others emotions… in the process of being judged by one, disapproved by another, and accepted by a third we become lost … our emotions fluctuate between fear, anxiety and relief.

Daydreaming is our way of keeping ourself from all that will bring meaning, purpose and fulfillment in our lives…. a pattern of distractions to avoid feeling if we allow ourself to become aware of our emotions… when we daydream we lose awareness of the present moment which continues without end or beginning, but our transitory time on Earth to realise ourself is not utilised.

Some of us spend our lives unaware of ourself as the central character in our life "movie" ... by not experiencing our Inner self, we focus on pleasing and controlling others, eating, having sex, achieving, or becoming invisible.

Boredom is deep rooted resistance to experiencing painful emotions after all efforts to distract attention from ourselves has been ineffective… while workaholics and perfectionists put our energy into externals , when we are bored we put our energy into avoiding them... boredom is the opposite of reverence.

Idol worship is the internal image of what we think we are or should be, to be safe, admired, valuable ... it is a screen between us and our experiences to avoid leading our life directly… we ignore our inner signals (emotions)… we do not have the courage to open ourself to Love so we mistake admiration for Love, and act as we think we should act … if our emotion doesn’t fit the role we think we should play we substitute an emotion we think we should feel.

As a daredevil we see ourself as courageous but we don’t have the courage to face what we are feeling… as we don’t relate honestly with self or others , they can't relate honestly with us.

A glorious life means we face the pain of powerlessness, of feeling unloved and change.

Impenetrable optimism is not the optimism that we feel when we become aware of the compassion and wisdom of the universe … it is when we shield ourself from painful emotions by barricade ourself from our emotions behind "all is for the best" … but if we operate out of fear, anger, jealousy, vengefulness it is only a pretence.

Entitlement is a perception that we are superior… the projection of invulnerability beneath this is a terror of ridicule and rejection … the more frightened we are the more entitled we feel.

Alcohol/Drug addiction ... the cause is intense emotional pain … which points to a part of our personality that does not share the elevated perceptions of our Soul… finding and healing the cause of emotional pain is the core of Spiritual expansion… it can only be done by self.

Eating as we learn to receive the nourishment of the Universe and use it our body assumes a form that expresses our balance… otherwise we feel the need to provide it ourself.

Sex addictive sexual attraction is a defence against being powerlessness … they can be continual and intense or in our background activated by a potential sexual partner…the craving is a search for purpose, meaning and value.

The more intense the pain of fear, unworthiness and feeling unlovable the more obsessive the craving for interaction becomes… even though they appear intimate they are barriers to intimacy… connecting the obsession with the avoidance of painful emotions is the first step … in Loving sexual intimacy, sexual partners are not interchangeable.

Power struggles when the outcome is more important than the activity… its when our desire to manipulate and control conflicts with others desire to manipulate, and control us… it is the pursuit of external power without reverence, our attempt to avoid pain … it collapses when we withdraw our energy from it … they become uninteresting when we change our intent from winning to learning about self … they illuminate dynamics within that we must change to be empowered.

Saviour searching is locating someone or something that can deliver us from discomfort … It usually takes the form of romantic attraction, and places the responsibility on others for the work only we can do … only we are the source of our happiness.

Judging when we judge others we forget who we are, our goals and desires and what we are feeling … until we acknowledge that we possess the same characteristics that we judge in others we will become enraged, disappointed, angry, contemptuous when we see them in others.

It shifts awareness from our body experiences on to the activities of out mind … it is a pre emptive attack against what we most want ... intimacy, and acceptance.

Stress when we resist a circumstance in life it takes energy and produces stress … how much energy we expend in resisting determines how much stress we have ... Resistance is the loss of energy when we attempt to change a person, event or circumstance... its like saying to the river of your life flow over there not here … once we accept our life we can determine what we need to change to create what we desire.